Thursday 12 March 2015

Travellers Tale: Be Kind This Year


Travel isn’t about landmarks, shopping and souvenirs. It is about meeting people. Connecting with them. And sharing kindness, writes Andrew Drummond Law.

I meet new people every year. At work, through my social circle, and on my travels.

Some of us connect with so many new friends on social media we have hundreds, perhaps thousands of friends.

Robin Dunbar, a famous anthropologist and psychologist, found that the average maximum number of people that our brain can handle is a social group of 150. Relationships involving trust and obligation, where you still have that personal touch, and you are not just another profile picture and username.

Of these, 50 are close enough to invite home for dinner, but only 15 are your inner circle, with whom you can confide and turn to for sympathy. Five is your close support group of best friends, often your family members.

Sorry to all you social media addicts that claim to have 500+ “friends”. The big news is…you do not.

When traveling you meet random people in passing, either just to smile at, talk briefly, or share transportation with. Sometimes there’s a moment of need and a brief moment where you can choose to stop and help, or walk on past them. A connection can be made, ignored, or missed too easily. Open your eyes and ears.

There is nothing new about being kind and generous to strangers on your travels.

But it is becoming less common, as we insulate ourselves from our physical surroundings with technology, using our smartphone and its online reviews, rather than make conversation with strangers, asking for directions and opinions on places to eat, visit and shop.

Here are some suggestions and thoughts that are guaranteed to not only make you feel like a kind human being again, but will also help someone this year:

Compliment a complete stranger while on your travels. Say something nice, smile or wink at them. You’d be surprised how breaking the ice this way can sometimes lead to an invitation, or friendship of a lifetime. Travel is very stressful for some people. Make it enjoyable for them.

Look for opportunities where you can help someone. When boarding your flight, help that aunty with her heavy cabin bag, and lift it for her into the overhead locker. You too will be old and shorter one day, and also carrying double your permitted weight limit in your carry-on bag.

While waiting in transit at KLIA and KLIA2 airports, twice, in as many months, I have encountered foreign tourists needing local currency to buy a drink or meal.

With a very short stopover time and unfamiliar airport, it is not always easy to change money. So buy them that fast-food they crave, cup of coffee, or sugar filled chocolate bar that their poor jetlagged stomachs are crying out for. Help feed them.

Catching a bus from Madrid to London I met a guy who claimed to have lost his wallet. I paid for his bus fare home to the UK. He promised he would pay me back. The other passengers quietly suggested to me he was a conman. Maybe he was. But I helped him, and they didn’t. He never paid me back. I still believe he was genuine.

Until recently, I always ignored the postcard sellers on my travels. They would chase me down the street, harassing me as I explored local landmarks. I considered them a nuisance. I would argue with them. I didn’t want to buy from them, as I could take my own good photographs.

Now I realise the error of my ways. Maybe I did not want to buy the postcards for myself. But I should have bought them from the young children selling them. And shared the postcards with my friends and family members as souvenirs.

They are just trying to earn a living. Me spending five dollars on postcards has a far greater impact on their lives, than me saving five dollars.

This year I am making a concerted point to be kind to people I meet on my travels, because what goes around comes around. Kindness. Pay it forward for 2015. And if someone winks at you, it’s probably me.




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